Little things to do to help your boy child grow into a responsible husband.

 Little things to do to help your boy child grow into a responsible husband. 

Omenelic blogspot - 30th May, 2024

We can all contribute to build a better society by doing little things from our individual families. Before we delve into the main discussion, let's read the story of Kevin and Katie.

              Katie and Kevin's 

It was beautiful sunny afternoon, Katie was returning from work placement and decided to stop by Woolwich Lidl to get few items. 

From the car park, Katie walked into the shop. She first picked some fruits and headed to pick up some loaves of bread.

Just as she walked down to the bakery aisle of Lidl, she noticed a man following her. Katie picked two loaves and headed for milk. The man was still following her and looking at her pleasantly. 

Kevin was so carried away by Katie's beauty that he couldn't help but stare lustfully at her.

"Hey, I'm Kevin, what's your name?"

"I'm Katie". 

Here begins the journey of Katie and Kevin's love story. They both loved each other so much that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. 

Katie knows what she wants. Kevin is the number one in her life every other family member is secondary. Kevin feels the same way too.

Fast forward, 5 years after their wedding, Katie wantsout! She is seeking for a divorce! In her own words, "I have spent my last 5 years as a maid and not as a mate." 

She said, "I practically have to do everything at home. I do the cooking, cleaning, washing, etc all by myself. " Now we have 2 kids and life is becoming more hectic for me. My husband would not help out. He wants me to even treat him as one of our children. I go to work and come back home to continue from where I stopped. I am choking with everything."

She added, "the worst part of it is that even when Kevin uses the toilet, he'll not clean the drops from his pee on the toilet seat. This has caused a lot of arguments in our home. Kevin lacks communication skills, in fact he acts as if I am his mother. We both should be mates and the parents of our lovely children. But, with Kevin, the case is different. I can't continue, I want out!"

From the story above we get to understand from the point of view of the the woman, that her husband doesn't know how to help out with the house chores. So many families are experiencing similar issues. 

Unfortunately, this is a hard reality of many today. Manners, etiquette and certain skills are required to be learned from home. It is very difficult to learn personality in adulthood. Many try to adjust but these have broken so many relationships. 

To this far, the reason I am writing these tips to help new mothers to bring up their children for better and healthy relationships. 

A healthy relationship, a healthy society. 

Tips 

1. Communication 

Some children naturally communicate well with their parents and people around them, while others shy away from communication. It is the responsibility of the parents to guide the child through their communication skills. 

I have 3 children. My first child initially, didn't know how to communicate his feelings verbally, he'd rather acts. Sometimes I wouldn't know why he'd been acting strange. When I get angry with his attitude, and maybe scold him, he still wouldn't talk about his anger, but stares at me and acts more strange maybe for the rest of the day. 

Been a young parent then and he been my first child, it really was difficult for me to understand these little things. I had no experienced person around me to seek supportfrom. It was when I had my second child that I began realising the things that made my first child to act in certain ways. 

My second and third children were very vocal. They tell me their feelings and what makes them feel the way they feel. This helped me to connect some dots together to understand my first child's behaviour. 

To be sincere, at the point of realising, my first child was already isolating himself. With all the feelings inside of him, he'd rather keep to himself than associate with the family. 

When I realised this I quickly began redirecting my relationship with my first son. I also began teaching him how to communicate his feelings. 

It is important to teach your children communication skills because they will not spend their whole life with you. 

2. Teach him to cook 

Take time to teach your male child to cook. Be purposeful, the same way you teach your female child. Have time with your son in the kitchen. Also teach him to do house chores.  

I personally have seen so many families train their female children different from their male children. I have a friend who has 2 girls and 1 boy. When the first girl became 8, she began teaching her how to cook, clean and do other house chores. She did same with her second daughter. 

However, when her son who happens to be the last child became 8, she was still doing things for him. I visited her when the boy was 10, I noticed she was still doing things that the boy could do for himself for her son. She warms food and brings to the table, wash the dishes etc for the son. I couldn't help but asked her why she still does these little things for his son who is 10, but didn't do same with her girls. She told me that her son is not able to do house chores. 

I was really shocked at her answers. I told her that she cannot live with this boy forever. One day the boy will grow into a man and will live with a different woman. When he begins living with another person he'd love to receive the same treatment from the person he's living with. 

It is very important to teach our children equally. 

3. Relationship with the family 

Your child's relationship with the rest of the family members determines how he relates when he begins his own family. Most boys children grow up dealing with friends, football, online games etc more than they relate with family members. So when they begin their own families they still hold unto friends, football, games more than they relate with wives. 

Don't get me wrong, all these things I mentioned are good but not when they are valued more than your relationship. 

Believe me, paying attention to these little things would make great difference and have positive impact to families and the society at large. It will all begin from family upbringing. 

4. A good sense of responsibility 

Teaching your children to take responsibility for little things would help the child's future relationship. 

Some boys never want to take responsibility for things around the home they live. Most children depend on mummy to be responsible for the things that happen around their home. 

For instance, someone spills water on the floor. The children think it's mummy's responsibility to see to the mess. 

A parent should always have a meeting with the children to discuss how they should take responsibility for the things that happen in their home. Also to discuss the important things of life.

Constant discussion about issues such as future relationship would help bridge unhealthy gap. "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he'll never depart from it", Proverbs 22:6.

We can reduce marriage or relationship problems by teaching our children equally regardless of their gender. 

This is not for all parents because there are many parents who ensure that their children grow up to be responsible partners. 

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